Tuesday, March 03, 2009

lost.

I feel lost. No motivation, not like I used to have. Call it irresponsibility, but I just can't seem to get motivated by duty, unless it adheres to my personal priorities or direction. What happens when something deemed as having the highest priority slips off the chart despite futile efforts of clinging on, not letting go? Your direction, motivation, energy, most of what constitutes meaning to you, goes along with it. Not a particularly enjoyable experience. 

I don't know what else I can do. Anymore. 

Eyes in the shadows. Remnants of a body which clung on to the light.

Leave it at that for now.

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Bloated egos used to irk me. Now I see it as just another form of self-delusion. However, there are also people who underrate their own abilities and potential and end up missing out on many of the things life has to offer. Some underestimate the level of their true potential, and others habitually choose to overlook the fact that the limit to what they can do is actually quite distant.

Actually, we all have a bit of both in us, just that some have more than others. We naturally tend to feel confident (many times overconfident) in our perceived areas of competency, but we should also acknowledge the fact that there exists many others who are even more competent in these areas, and appreciate the value of humility.

On the other hand, there are also times when we may feel that we lack the ability to do certain things, when the only obstacle to the liberation of our unused potential is our mind. By overcoming this obstacle, we may have the chance of discovering new lands in previously uncharted territory and claiming it as our own.

In essence, there's nothing wrong about not being the best, but not being the best you can leaves only regrets.

I know it's possible, guess I'll just have to convince myself that other causes are worthy too.